Recently, Erin Witkowski wrote about her struggle with depression, OCD and anxiety. She discussed how words from her doctor changed her mental health recovery on “The Mighty,” a digital health community that is created to empower and connect people facing health challenges and disabilities.
She hopes to use her experiences to start discussions on mental health, stop the stigma, and for others to know how valuable and loved they are no matter what they are dealing with.
When Erin first reached out for help with her mental health, she had a “quickly and quietly get help and get better” mentality. She was expecting the medication would start working in a few weeks and agreed to visit her college’s counseling center.
Erin expected to learn a few helpful tricks to help with her anxiety and depression. She mentioned, “I thought I would struggle for a while and get better. I anticipated that it would be like any struggle I had in life.”
However, she was misled in her expectations and mentality. Erin said, “My quick fix turned out to be the opposite. My body rejected medication after medication. The dosages were wrong. Even if the medication partially helped, it would stop after a month. Treatment-resistant depression, they said. I was running this marathon in the dark. But there would be a finish line, right?”
She added, “My ‘quick’ stop in therapy turned into almost a year. I felt like I was going nowhere except down. Hopelessness was at its highest and I endured three hospitalizations for suicidal thoughts.”
She explained that she felt like a burden to her family and friends, who constantly watched her at night and called to check on her.
She decided to check into an outpatient mental health program when she felt lowest and ran out of options. She said, “After an extended stay in the program and a good combination of medications, the depression finally lifted enough for me to breathe again and to have moments of joy and interest in activities. This was almost a year since I had first sought help for my mental health. I was cured, right? I could have my success story, finally?”
However, even after undergoing therapy, she felt she was wrong and that left her lonely and empty-in-between space. Although she was not in severe depression, she felt she was not the same person as before her episode with mental health issues. Erin said, “Yes, I had my moments of joy, but the depression and anxiety still lingered. This left me devastated and confused. Why was I not better? What’s the point if I just alternate between the pit and this mild, lingering depression?
One day, after talking to her doctor, she said the light bulb finally went on. She said her doctor’s words made a big difference in her mental health recovery.
Her doctor said, “If you had type 1 diabetes, you wouldn’t expect to one day get cured and reach a “normal you” before your diagnosis. You would still have to take your insulin, exercise and count your carbs. Mental illness is often no different. You might have it well-controlled with coping skills, diet, medication and therapy. You may also continue to have symptoms and needs the same self-care plus some extra support. You’ll likely have remissions and relapses.”
“It doesn’t just magically get better. It’s a lifelong process of battling symptoms and to implement self-care. It’s about fighting for a new normal.”
Erin mentioned, “If you are someone continuing to struggle, keep fighting. Your life is worth it. It can still be beautiful even with a chronic mental illness.” “If you have a friend or family member living with a mental illness, don’t give up on them. They may seem fine. Maybe they are, maybe not. But don’t stop supporting them. Continue to keep the relationship going by checking on them, spending time with them, and doing things to help them out,” wrote Erin. “They are so strong, fighting an ever-going invisible illness. They are worth the fight. Never give up on them!”
